There was a moment, a dawning, and an awareness that spread through my body, a sudden aha where my life changed in an instant. Ever had one of those?

I was at the gym, trying for another set, my body screaming at me to stop. And the critic in my head; that mean internal voice that was saying “Come on, get it together”, “What’s your problem”, “Why can’t you do this?”

My eyes welled up and I instantly felt dumb. After all, I was in a gym, amidst a dozen men, being a girl on the verge of tears. Head hung low, shamed.

And then that moment of awareness happened, where my childhood abuse flashed before my eyes. All the times my body was spanked, yanked, prodded and abused. And my mother, my father, my abuser saying those same things “Come on, get it together”, “Stop crying”, “What’s your problem”? And Here I was, dozens of years later repeating the same words with the same tone, heaping the same abuse on my body.

See, I had spent years healing from the childhood abuse I experienced, only to recognize in that moment that the abuse was alive and well. Where once I was abused, I recognized in that moment I had become the abuser.

Sure, it wasn’t as overt or glaring as the beatings. It was subtle, but pervasive and constant nonetheless.

And upon close reflection, the self-abuse I was inflicting on myself revealed itself everywhere; in the chronic pain in my body, in my exhaustion from over-working, in the constant conflict in my romantic relationship, and the perfectionist ideal I relentlessly held for myself.

So, are you still punishing or abusing you? Here are 15 tell-tale signs you may be doing self-abuse:

1. You often feel guilt or shame.
2. You often get angry at yourself thinking what you've done or not done justified the anger.
3. You constantly judge yourself (and believe that critical internal voice playing in your head).
4. You take things very personally and unequivocally believe others when they judge or criticize you.
5. You neglect your own needs and desires, telling yourself there is no time for self-care or to do what you truly wish to be doing.
6. You let what's in your back account choose what you can be and do in your life.
7. You don't take action on your ideas and dreams.
8. You often settle for less then you deserve.
9. You don't put certain things in place in your life or business so you can never go beyond where you are now.
10. You compare yourself to others and use that as a reason to not choose what you would really like to choose.
11. You neglect, bruise, or hurt your body or create chronic pain or other forms of dis-ease.
12. You hold yourself to incredibly high standards while permitting others to chronically underperform without comment.
13. You allow toxic energy, people, and situations to invade you energetically.
14. You can’t get clear on your Yes and No’s and often allow others to subjugate your truth.
15. You tend to exert control on others but mostly on yourself.

If a lot of these ring true, don’t get discouraged.

The first step to changing anything is to become aware of the pattern.

The second step is to commit to changing it!

To help you break through self punishment, we've created a dynamic clearing loop based on the tools from Access Consciousness.

This free resource gets to the heart of the heavy energy and starts clearing it immediately. You will feel lighter and more clear, more confident and hold your head higher. Change is possible now. Get your free audio loop here: http://bit.ly/2dSKVNX